College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
