But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
