Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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