I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
