I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
