my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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