i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
