Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
