2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
