margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
