If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize