it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
