ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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