He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
