there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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