If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
