Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
