Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
