he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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