i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
