how can u be prego again
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
