we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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