Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
