? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
