The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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