Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
