I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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