You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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