i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
