that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
