And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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