You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
