she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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