Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
