That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
