Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize