another moral hangover. fuck.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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