Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
