Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
