Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just googled if crying burns calories
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
