I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
