His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
