Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
