Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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