it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I could make wine with my vomit
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
