i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
