They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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