I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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