i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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