He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Fuck appropriateness.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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