wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He called his prostate his "boner button".
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize