just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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