pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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