What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
