whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
