He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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