you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
