Rock
Scissors
Fuck
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
