I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
