There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
