I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
