please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
