Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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