Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
