ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
