i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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