its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
