the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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