everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
