Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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