She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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