you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
