office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
