I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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