Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
