I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
sex in a hospital.. check
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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