I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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